McSweeneys with a poetic response to Joni Ernst’s curt dismissal of concerns about cuts to social welfare programs:

When the people say, “We are sick,” tell them, “Nay, you are mortal.” Watch as the budget balances itself. Experience the serenity of actuarial software achieving nirvana.

Healing the body is expensive. Transcending the reality of space and time is free. It’s just so obvious once you do the math. Do the math now. Then we shall cut every math department.

Nic Babarskis @thebigbabooski